CYA: Fairfax County Still Hasn’t Found the Serial Butt Slasher

NBC Washington One man may be responsible for slashing at least five women on the butt, according to Fairfax County police. In the most recent attack, an 18-year-old woman was shopping at Forever 21 inside the Fair Oaks Mall at 5:30 p.m. Monday when she was distracted by clothing falling over. She told police that she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her butt and thought she might have been struck by a clothes hanger before she realized she’d been cut through her denim shorts with a box cutter or razor.

This dude has been rolling through Virginia since February slashing women’s butts? What a sick world. Although I think I’ve figured out how to catch this guy.

Can the Fairfax County Sheriff’s office afford a Seth MacFarlane appearance fee? I feel as though this guy would have no heart and no sense of humor if he heard Peter Griffin’s voice yelling “Butt Slasher?! Butt Slasher?!” on a street corner and didn’t give himself up.

Short of that, I would suggest ladies wear metallic under garments, or possibly this little number.


Is This Bro Entirely Serious Right Now?


So this guy is on Jeopardy right now, and I really don’t know what to think of him. My first thought was, remember those lame parties in college, stop light or whatever they were called? Wear red if you’re taken, green if you’re trying to hook up and yellow if you’re somewhere in the middle?
I was like, is this guy heading to one of those and just hell bent on fucking with everyone there? Or maybe he’s colorblind, I don’t know, but the stop light party was the first thing I thought of…

So Glad Not to be a Bucs Fan

Josh Freeman is signed through 2013. He makes me scratch my head a little, because he runs more than I’d like, but he can definitely play the position. But no matter how confused I am by his style of play, there’s no doubt he’s in the top half of starting qb’s in the league.

Freeman has to be viewed as the franchise qb in Tampa, right? They don’t anticipate some kind of major change or a drop off in his play, do they? I can’t see it. He might not be the first guy I’d pick, but if Josh Freeman’s on my roster and I’ve had a decade of signal calling incompetence, he’s the guy I go to war with.

I rant about all that to say this; is capology a complete mystery to the Bucs? Or is the treasure chest on the pirate ship just filled with unlimited cap dollars?

As of mid July, the Bucs were looking at spending $46 million or thereabouts to get to the salary floor. Instead of taking young Josh aside and telling him that he can get extended right now and front loading the thing, they did what?

They signed a punter to a 6 year, $19.5 million deal. Yes, that’s 19.5 million/6 years. As in an average annual value of $3.5 million.

Probably a good call. Pinning teams in the corner will definitely be more important than keeping Freeman or giving him some targets…

Lay’s Straight Killing it in Canada


Don’t really know what to say about this…
They have Lay’s poutine fries in a bag? So I can get this in Canada, but not in Central Falls or Woonsocket?
Globalization my ass.