NBC Washington One man may be responsible for slashing at least five women on the butt, according to Fairfax County police. In the most recent attack, an 18-year-old woman was shopping at Forever 21 inside the Fair Oaks Mall at 5:30 p.m. Monday when she was distracted by clothing falling over. She told police that she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her butt and thought she might have been struck by a clothes hanger before she realized she’d been cut through her denim shorts with a box cutter or razor.
This dude has been rolling through Virginia since February slashing women’s butts? What a sick world. Although I think I’ve figured out how to catch this guy.
Can the Fairfax County Sheriff’s office afford a Seth MacFarlane appearance fee? I feel as though this guy would have no heart and no sense of humor if he heard Peter Griffin’s voice yelling “Butt Slasher?! Butt Slasher?!” on a street corner and didn’t give himself up.
Short of that, I would suggest ladies wear metallic under garments, or possibly this little number.
Tonight’s Jets-Broncos finish was intense. First off, I still don’t care for Tebow, I still think he will be out of the league in a few years, but that was pretty impressive. Also, I want to thank the Broncos, Tim Tebow, and ostensibly God(?) for ending the Jets’ season.
But the thing that got me was the Jets defense on the touchdown run that effectively ended the game.
Please, Tebowmaniacs, leave me alone, I’m not saying Jesus’ younger brother wouldn’t have found another way into the endzone. He would have, ok? He’s never going to lose another game. But seriously, let me split hairs for a minute over how it happened.
Rex Ryan said in his postgame presser, “We knew he was going to run, he likes to run in that situation.” Really now? Then why did you flush him? It seems to me, if he’s going to run, you should back up and keep it in front of you. You’re up by a fieldgoal. Even if he moves the chains, you don’t lose by giving him 3-8 yards up the middle.
I think the formula (not the execution) for beating the Broncos is simple. Dare Tebow to throw. What Rex Ryan did, on the last play the Bronco offense ran, was dare Tebow to roll out. Did that play call make sense to anyone?
So this guy is on Jeopardy right now, and I really don’t know what to think of him. My first thought was, remember those lame parties in college, stop light or whatever they were called? Wear red if you’re taken, green if you’re trying to hook up and yellow if you’re somewhere in the middle?
I was like, is this guy heading to one of those and just hell bent on fucking with everyone there? Or maybe he’s colorblind, I don’t know, but the stop light party was the first thing I thought of…
Josh Freeman is signed through 2013. He makes me scratch my head a little, because he runs more than I’d like, but he can definitely play the position. But no matter how confused I am by his style of play, there’s no doubt he’s in the top half of starting qb’s in the league.
Freeman has to be viewed as the franchise qb in Tampa, right? They don’t anticipate some kind of major change or a drop off in his play, do they? I can’t see it. He might not be the first guy I’d pick, but if Josh Freeman’s on my roster and I’ve had a decade of signal calling incompetence, he’s the guy I go to war with.
I rant about all that to say this; is capology a complete mystery to the Bucs? Or is the treasure chest on the pirate ship just filled with unlimited cap dollars?
As of mid July, the Bucs were looking at spending $46 million or thereabouts to get to the salary floor. Instead of taking young Josh aside and telling him that he can get extended right now and front loading the thing, they did what?
They signed a punter to a 6 year, $19.5 million deal. Yes, that’s 19.5 million/6 years. As in an average annual value of $3.5 million.
Probably a good call. Pinning teams in the corner will definitely be more important than keeping Freeman or giving him some targets…
I wrote a letter to the NFLPA this spring, telling them that there was one thing they had to do during the lockout. It was pretty simple, I’d like to see football in September, but my biggest thing was, please get rid of the franchise tag.
Actually, it wasn’t quite that simple.
My take was, and is, I don’t like the position it puts me in as a fan and an observer when a guy gets franchised and wants to be a free agent, so he decides to sit out.
It’s really been the only effective recourse for players against the franchise tag, and while I understood why players did it, I was still bothered by this; they signed a contract, they voted for the CBA and they didn’t hold to it.
Well this spring they went to the mat. They held football hostage (so did the owners, but both parties equally did not compromise in March). So they had their negotiating sessions, at the cost of free agency, and mini camps, and OTA’s. They had a chance to get rid of it and they didn’t.
So when Adrian Peterson, or Patrick Willis, or whoever sits out because he doesn’t like the tag, I have a new take on it.
You guys voted. If you don’t like your new government, tough cookies. You screwed yourselves this time around boys. You have a brilliant new leader (hashtag d smith is a bad man), all the marquis names signed on to an antitrust suit (Brees, Brady, Manning), and everything that comes with it.
You had the owners’ collective balls in a vice, and you didn’t use it to get rid of that god awful slap in the face to the free market. Next time it bites one of you in the ass, I’m pro-team all the way.